How to Speak Up in Meetings — Without Feeling Like You’re Overstepping
by Tabby Biddle
We’ve all been there: sitting in a meeting, heart pounding, an idea on the tip of our tongue, while second-guessing whether to say it. Will I sound too aggressive? What if I don’t sound smart enough? What if someone interrupts me, or worse, dismisses me?
For many women, that moment of hesitation is layered. It’s part self-doubt, part fear, and part awareness of working in office cultures where being “too assertive” can sometimes backfire.
When I first started working after college, I didn’t think I had a right to an opinion in my workplace. I was eager, hardworking, and grateful to have a job. But when team meetings came around, I mostly stayed quiet. This wasn’t because I didn’t have ideas to share. It was because I assumed my role was to listen, not contribute. I believed real insight came from people who were older, wiser, or more experienced than me.
I didn’t notice it at first, how often I stayed silent. I wasn’t afraid to speak, exactly. I simply thought my job was to observe, to take it all in and learn. Looking back, I can see how that silence became a habit, one rooted in the belief that my voice wasn’t yet “qualified.”
Years later, I now know I wasn’t alone. Many women I work with today share a similar story.
From an early age, we’re bombarded with messages from our families, workplaces, and society that tell us we shouldn’t take up too much space, be too opinionated, or be too bold. We’re praised for being nice and agreeable, yet labeled “too emotional,” “too much,” or “too assertive” when we express our ideas with passion.
It’s no wonder so many of us second-guess ourselves.
It’s not you. It’s the model of leadership.
For decades, women have been told that if we want to get ahead, we need to act more like men: more aggressive, more competitive, and more willing to dominate the room. Meanwhile, the skills we naturally bring to leadership, such as empathy, collaboration, intuition, and emotional intelligence, have been undervalued or dismissed as “soft.”
But those so-called “soft skills” are actually core leadership strengths. They’re the very qualities that inspire trust, help teams thrive, and create meaningful impact.
Our current model of leadership is still very much coded male. It’s built on hierarchy, control, and individualism. But that doesn’t mean we need to follow that code. The future of leadership needs balance, and it’s time to elevate the feminine side of the equation.
Rather than trying to prove yourself by performing confidence in a masculine way, I encourage you to lead and speak from your feminine intelligence: your intuition, empathy, and connection to others. Speaking with confidence doesn’t have to be loud or attention-seeking. It can be grounded, calm, and guided by purpose.
When you focus less on how you’re being perceived and more on the impact of your words, how they serve the people in front of you and the purpose you’re here to advance, your presence naturally becomes more powerful.
It wasn’t until several years after entering the workforce that I learned to tune into my inner voice through the practice of yoga and meditation. This was when I began to feel more connected to what I cared about, what I believed in, and what I valued. Through that experience, I learned to listen inward before speaking outward, and that practice changed everything.
I became attuned to a deeper well of wisdom within me that I hadn’t accessed before. My sense of “qualification” no longer came from a title or degree; it came from being rooted in my own truth.
So if you’ve ever held back in a meeting, afraid that you might be overstepping, here are five practical ways to speak up in meetings with confidence, clarity, and grace.
1. Ground yourself before you speak
Before your next meeting, take 30 seconds to ground yourself.
Plant your feet. Take a slow breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Feel your body in the chair. Place one hand on your low belly, and the other at your heart, and take another slow breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
This isn’t just a mindfulness practice — it’s embodied leadership. When you regulate your nervous system, your thoughts slow down and your words carry a calm, clear authority.
Before you speak, connect to your why. Ask yourself: Why does this idea matter? What’s the value I’m bringing to this conversation? Speaking from purpose — rather than pressure — changes everything.
2. Find your opening in fast-moving conversations
You don’t have to bulldoze your way in to be heard. Instead, signal your intention to speak. Try:
· “I’d love to build on that…”
· “I have a quick perspective that might add to this…”
· “Before we move on, could I offer a thought?”
These gentle but clear cues claim your space without cutting anyone off. You’re contributing through connection, not competition.
3. Disagree diplomatically
Leadership isn’t about always agreeing — it’s about advancing the conversation.
Try this structure: Acknowledge → Add → Advance.
For example:
“I see the logic in that approach, and I’d like to add another perspective that might help us reach the goal even faster…”
You’re not fighting; you’re collaborating. This framing allows you to express your point of view with clarity and connection — a hallmark of feminine leadership. This is how feminine leadership sounds in action — respectful, thoughtful, and strong.
4. Recover gracefully if you get interrupted
It happens. You’re mid-sentence and someone jumps in. The key is to stay grounded.
Try:
“Hold on a sec — I’d love to finish my thought,” or “Before we move forward, I just want to complete what I was saying.”
Delivered with warmth and steadiness, these phrases reassert your presence without friction. No apology needed.
5. Close powerfully so your contribution lands
Once you’ve shared your idea, don’t trail off — land it. Summarize or name the next step:
· “So what I’m suggesting is…”
· “The key takeaway here is…”
· “Next step could be…”
This signals clarity and confidence, without force.
And if your idea isn’t adopted right away? That doesn’t mean it wasn’t valuable. Often, the most transformative ideas take time to ripple through a team’s thinking. Trust that your voice planted a seed.
Speaking up is a feminine leadership act.
The more I coach women across industries, from tech to finance to social impact, the more I see that speaking up in meetings is not a small thing. It’s a daily act of leadership.
Each time you use your voice, you’re modeling a new kind of power. One that’s rooted in purpose, presence, and feminine intelligence.
You’re reminding everyone, including yourself, that leadership doesn’t sound one way. It sounds like you.
So the next time you’re in a meeting and feel that familiar hesitation, take a breath. Ground yourself in your body. Connect with your purpose. Then speak, not to prove yourself, but to contribute something meaningful.
When you do, you’re not just finding your voice. You’re helping redefine what leadership looks and sounds like. That’s how real influence begins.
About the author: Tabby Biddle is a Los Angeles–based women’s thought leadership coach and public speaking mentor who helps women leaders find their voice, craft their message, and speak with confidence and impact. Learn more at tabbybiddle.com or connect on LinkedIn.