End of Year Ritual
The Winter Solstice sky near my home in Santa Monica, CA.
by Tabby Biddle
It’s been an intense year for all of us. So much loss. So much inequity. So much corruption. So much …
While there is a lot to mourn from 2020, there is also much to celebrate. There are the silver linings, and this will look different for each of us.
Every year, I like to do an end-of-year ritual to acknowledge all that has happened and clear the way for my intentions for the upcoming new year.
Do you have a ritual you like to do to get ready for the new year?
If not, I invite you to try out the one below. It takes about 30 minutes. It will allow you to celebrate the good things, take note of what you want to let go of from 2020, and make space for the new.
This is a powerful time of year to reflect and plan for the year ahead. Please grab your journal/diary, calendar, paper and pen and let’s get started.
There are three parts to this ritual. In addition to writing out the steps, I have made audio recordings for your convenience and listening pleasure. If you can, I encourage you to do all three sections as one continuous ritual. If that’s not possible, you can break them into 10-minute intervals.
PART I: Celebration (10 minutes)
Find a comfortable, quiet spot to sit — and breathe for 1 minute to come into stillness.
Take some moments to reflect on this past year, 2020. See if you can tune in month-by-month to recall what was happening for you. (If it helps, you can refer to your calendar or diary to trigger your memory.)
Identify one thing from each month that you’d like to celebrate. This can be on the personal or professional front. For example, maybe you launched a new program, or you got married, or you made more money than you’ve ever made, or you took good care of your health, etc. Nothing is too big or small.
Write down in your journal or a blank piece of paper your accomplishments. (Don’t worry if you don’t have something for every month. Just write what stands out to you.)
Now, in addition to celebrating the event or accomplishment, reflect on one or two qualities in you that you can celebrate in relation to that accomplishment. For example, if you launched a new program, maybe you’d like to celebrate your creativity or your perseverance. If you gave a TEDx talk, maybe you’d like to celebrate your bravery or courage. If you took good care of your health, maybe you want to celebrate your self-compassion and self-care.
Write down these qualities next to your accomplishments.
Over this past year, you also likely had some hardships and struggles. I invite you to consider what qualities you had to cultivate and embody to get through those challenges. For example, if you lost your job, perhaps you had to cultivate an ability to pivot or cultivate determination to find something new. If you made it through an illness or health issue, perhaps you had to cultivate trust — in yourself, the healers or healthcare workers who supported you, and/or the larger Universal forces.
Write down the hardships and the qualities you cultivated to make it through the struggle. (Don’t worry if you forgot some things. Just write what stands out to you.)
Now it’s time to celebrate yourself. Dance. Smile. Move your body in celebratory ways. Acknowledge yourself. For some of you, this may feel challenging, especially when there is so much turmoil in the world. As women, many women of us have been taught to dim our light and turn the spotlight away from ourselves. I invite you to use this ritual as an opportunity to acknowledge yourself and give yourself permission to turn your light ALL THE WAY ON.
(You need this and the world needs this.)
PART II: Release (10 minutes)
Find a comfortable, quiet spot to sit — and breathe for 1 minute to come into stillness.
Now it’s time to focus on what you want to release from 2020. And yes, I know for many of us, there’s a lot.
Just as you did in the previous exercise, spend some time reflecting on 2020, month by month, and see if you can recall some events or instances that you’d like to let go of and release. This can be on the personal or professional front. For example, maybe you had a very scary or challenging time financially. Or maybe you fought with your spouse, partner or children after all being home together for so many months. Or maybe you were outraged by what you saw happening on the political front. (Again, if it helps, you can refer to your calendar or diary to trigger your memory.)
Identify one thing from each month that you wish to release.
Write down in your journal or a fresh piece of paper what you’d like to let go of and release for each month. (Don’t worry if you don’t have something for every month. That’s not the point. Just write what stands out to you.)
Just like in the last exercise, rather than just naming the event or instance, see if you can identify one word that represents the quality you want to release. For example, if you fought with your spouse, partner or children during the long months of the pandemic, maybe what you want to release anger or miscommunication. Or if your financial situation became really challenging, maybe you want to let go of financial anxiety or scarcity.
Take some time to really drop into your heart and see what you’d like to let go of from this past year.
Write down these qualities next to the events.
Now it’s time to move onto PART III to release and transform these qualities.
PART III: Integration (10 minutes)
Find a comfortable, quiet spot to sit — and breathe for 1 minute to come into stillness.
Look at both of your lists (Celebration + Release), and reflect on all that is there.
Now consider how anything on your Release list may have served you in an unexpected way. For example, if you were fighting with your spouse, partner or children, perhaps this gave you an opportunity to re-evaluate how you were communicating and opened up space for a deepened or more evolved relationship with them. Or, if you had a challenging time with your business, perhaps this gave you time to reflect on your true desires for your business, life and career. Or if your health suffered, perhaps this gave you time to slow down and tune into what you most value in life.
*If you have trouble finding the silver lining in anything on your Release list, don’t fret about it or judge yourself. Instead say: I hereby let this experience and the qualities associated with it go.
Give thanks to any ways you may have been unexpectedly served by the things on your Release list. Take a moment to truly tune into the vibration of gratitude. This will help you integrate the experiences.
Keeping with the energy of gratitude, look at your list of Celebrations and give thanks for the qualities in you that you listed.
Now, ask yourself: How do I want to show up in 2021? Look at your list of qualities, and see which ones speak to you. Which ones do you you want to take forward with you into 2021? (You don’t have to take them all. ) What new qualities do you want to add to this list?
Write down all of the qualities you want to embody in 2021. This can be a long list, or a simple list of one, two or three qualities. You choose.
Take some time to really drop into your heart, body and soul and see how you’d like to show up in 2021. Be honest with yourself. Do not dim your light or judge yourself for anything that might feel “too big” or “too risky” for you. This is your year to go for it.
I’ll leave you with a parting quote from the great feminist writer, poet and civil rights activist Audré Lorde that has helped me through many challenges:
“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
Thank you for showing up for yourself. It has a ripple effect on all of us. I wish you much love, joy, peace, good health, creativity and prosperity in 2021!
Tabby Biddle, M.S. Ed. works at the intersection of women’s leadership, feminine spirituality and social change. She is the co-founder of 50 Women Can Change the World in Media & Entertainment, the bestselling author of Find Your Voice: A Woman’s Call to Action, and an internationally celebrated women’s leadership coach, educator, strategist, and group facilitator for her unique approach to activating women’s leadership. Learn more.