Why So Many Brilliant Women Still Struggle with Public Speaking (and How to Change That)
By Tabby Biddle
Let me say this up front: If you’re a smart, accomplished woman who still feels nervous—or even terrified—about public speaking, you’re not alone. And you’re standing at the edge of something powerful.
I’ve worked with business leaders, political leaders, company founders, award-winning writer and directors, women leaders in STEM, academics, social scientists, and entrepreneurs—women who are powerful in so many areas of their life—yet still experience a sense of panic when it comes to public speaking.
They tell me about their anxiety, their shortness of breath, their pounding heartbeat, the tenseness they feel in their body—or sometimes feeling like they’ve left their body altogether.
Why does this happen?
After working with women as a public speaking coach and mentor for more than a decade, I can tell you this isn’t just about a woman’s confidence. It’s about our conditioning as women—and even more than that, it’s about our history.
We live in a world that has told women—both subtly and directly—to be agreeable, not disruptive; to be pleasing, not powerful; to stay quiet and obedient. And to speak only when we have every answer, every fact, and every angle figured out. I can’t tell you how many women come to me for coaching and tell me that one of their big fears is being “wrong.”
I completely understand this fear because, for years, I had it, too. And since this fear is so common, I think it’s important to acknowledge that this fear goes deeper than we think. The root of it runs deeper than the modern-day pressure to be “perfect”.
We women have a long and often brutal history of being punished for speaking our truth. From the witch burnings in Europe and the U.S. from the 1500s-1700s, to the transition from matrilineal, egalitarian societies to patriarchal hierarchies 5,000 years ago, we’ve lived for millennia under systems that silenced, punished, and erased women’s voices.
Women who dared to speak up—healers, priestesses, teachers, mothers, mystics—were often labeled dangerous. They were ostracized, discredited, abused, or killed.
Over time, we women learned to adapt, to shape-shift, and to keep ourselves safe by staying quiet and muting our truth. And yes, even though we live in a “modern” world, we still see this pattern playing out.
We’ve all seen what happens to women who are vocal, smart, opinionated, and passionate who speak out on public or global forums. We’ve seen them criticized, mocked, dismissed, discredited, or even physically harmed.
Think Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), Anita Hill, Greta Thunberg, Malala Yousafzai, Meghan Markle, Taylor Swift, Simone Biles, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Megan Rapinoe, and the list goes on.
They’ve been targeted because they dared to speak truth in public, to name injustice, or to lead differently than the status quo. Many of these women have been criticized not just for what they said, but for how they said it—“too” bold and “too unapologetic”. You get the picture.
So it only makes sense that so many of us brilliant women feel hesitant (or downright terrified) before we speak in public. We’ve been taught that visibility can come at a cost.
But here’s what I’ve learned through my own journey—and in mentoring women across the globe for the past 15 years: The cost of silence is even greater.
When you don’t speak your truth, something inside you begins to dim. Your creative energy dries up. Your soul’s calling goes unanswered. You shrink, quietly, away from the world—and even from yourself.
Over time, that silence becomes heavy. It can weigh on your heart, your body, and your mind. These unspoken truths and unexpressed emotions can take a real toll on you—mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
If any of this speaks to you, my intention is to help you change this. Not by pretending that your fear of public speaking doesn’t exist. But by refusing to let it stop you.
Because public speaking isn’t just a skill to learn—it’s a portal—a portal to your power, your message, and to the potential of your leadership.
How to Start Changing Your Relationship to Public Speaking:
3 Practical Steps
If you’re ready to change your relationship with public speaking, here are three simple, powerful steps to begin:
1. Shift from “Performing” to Serving
Before your next speaking opportunity—whether it’s on a stage, a panel, a podcast, or in a meeting—pause and ask yourself: “How can I help my audience today? How can I make their lives better, even in a small way?”
This immediately shifts the focus off of you and onto service. This can help you calm your nervous system and invite you to speak from purpose, instead of pressure.
2. Get Grounded in Your Body
When fear shows up, many women tend to feel jumpy and anxious in their body, or they leave their body altogether. To remedy this, before you speak, plant your feet firmly on the ground. Feel the support beneath you. Then put one hand on your heart, and the other on your belly. Take a deep breath into your belly and gently exhale through your mouth. Repeat this until you feel more connected to yourself and to your center.
Then, speak from that place. Your message lives in your body, not just in your mind. Being grounded in your body will make you a magnetic speaker.
3. Tune Into the Ripple Effect of Your Message
Before you take the stage, speak up in a meeting, or press record—take a moment to connect with the bigger picture behind your message. What’s the deeper purpose or social mission behind what you’re about to share? What might shift if just one person hears your message and acts on it? What about ten? A hundred? A thousand?
Let the knowledge of this ripple effect empower you. Your voice could spark change far beyond what you can see in the moment.
Ready to begin?
If you feel called to share your message more publicly, but haven’t known where to begin, or if you’ve been putting off public speaking because it feels overwhelming or scary—I invite you to download my new free resource: Signature Talk Starter Kit.
This powerful guide will help you start crafting your signature message and take the first steps toward becoming a confident and sought-after speaker.
Download your Signature Talk Starter Kit.
Because the world needs your voice. And public speaking might just be the most powerful way to share it.
Tabby Biddle is a TEDx speaker, public speaking mentor, and women’s thought leadership coach who helps mission-driven women and emerging thought leaders become powerful, visible voices in their industry. With a background in journalism and global gender advocacy, she specializes in guiding women to speak with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Download your Signature Talk Starter Kit.