Why Your Feminine Legacy Matters
by Tabby Biddle
Legacy is a potent word that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.
Not that long ago, I read a story in author and Omega Institute co-founder Elisabeth Lesser’s book, Cassandra Speaks, about how she and renowned Chilean author Isabelle Allende were invited to speak on the topic of “Legacy,” many years ago, at a religion and science conference in France.
Most of the invited speakers were men, “with a few women sprinkled in,” says Elisabeth.
As she tells her story, Elisabeth admits that she wasn’t comfortable with the topic of legacy. She felt it was too “ego-ic,” which is something she’d been trying to get away from. And plus, as the mom to teenage boys and the co-founder of a large institute, she was busy in the here and now. When would she have time to think about legacy?
When it was Isabelle Allende’s turn to speak, she stood at the microphone and proclaimed that legacy was a “penis” word. There were giggles in the audience, including from the Dalai Lama, who was one of the invited speakers.
Isabelle later corrected herself and said that she used the wrong “p” word. She actually meant patriarchy.
It is true that legacy has been framed for much of our lives from a patriarchal perspective, based around money, wealth, and family name. In fact, for most of history, legacy has been the domain of men. War heroes, presidents, Nobel Prize winners, sports heroes, billionaires.
Since women couldn’t possess money, wealth and professional status until disturbingly late in our history – especially married women -- they weren’t even part of the legacy conversation. Lest we forget, it wasn’t until the 1970s in the United States that a woman could get a credit card in her own name, be able to get her own mortage without a male co-signer, or be guaranteed that she wouldn’t be fired from a job for being pregnant.
Truth be told, for much of our lives, aside from royalty, movie stars, and the occasional sports star, people haven’t been talking about legacy in relation to women. It’s not often that the everyday woman is asked: What do you see as your feminine legacy? It’s also not often that she stops asks herself this question.
I argue that it’s time for this to change.
With all the political, social, economic and environmental crises going on in our world today, legacy is an extremely valuable topic for women to be thinking about and acting on.
Our patriarchal culture has devalued, dismissed, erased, and silenced millions of women throughout history. This has led to a massive imbalance in our leadership, our institutions, our systems, and in our psyches. The patriarchal “power over” (win-lose) style of leadership has prevailed, while the feminine-based “power with” style (win-win) has been repressed. Society is suffering in the face of this imbalance.
You need only to look around right now to see this—the rise of autocratic leaders, multiple wars, rising violence, daily shootings, human rights abuses and atrocities, corporate greed at the cost of human lives, massive economic disparity, food insecurity, the climate crisis, the mental health crisis, entire populations pushed into poverty, and so much more.
I argue that it’s time to rewrite history and add her-story and feminine legacy to it to restore balance between the masculine and the feminine within ourselves, and within our worldly leadership. No matter our gender, we desperately need this.
The legacy I am talking about is not just about doing heroic acts, amassing wealth, or donating to the causes you care about. While this is important and admirable, there is more to feminine legacy. Much more.
Feminine legacy is about how you live and lead your life. It’s the way you show up. How you treat yourself. How you treat others. The wisdom you share. The values you uphold. The teachings you embody. The way you use your voice. What you create. What you build. What you transmit. What kind of role model you are for your children, other people's children, and your community. It’s the world you model for others by the way you are living your life.
Creating a feminine legacy isn’t done from an egoic, patriarchal perspective. Instead, it comes from a desire to own all of who you are as a woman, and share your gifts in service to the highest good of our communities, our humanity, and our planet. It is inspired by a higher-purpose that will contribute to our collective evolution, and the well-being of future generations.
Imagine a world where every human being felt safe and worthy—safe and worthy to speak their truth; safe and worthy to be seen and heard; safe and worthy to share their unique gifts; safe and worthy to be in their body; safe and worthy to have peace within themselves and in their communities; and safe and worthy to thrive.
Doesn’t that sound like a great world to live in? That’s what your feminine legacy can create.
Tabby Biddle, M.S. Ed. is a women’s leadership coach and award-winning writer dedicated to uplifting and championing women’s voices in the world. She specializes in helping women find their voice and amplify it as writers, public speakers and thought leaders—not tethered to the old ways of patriarchy, but in a new paradigm of feminine leadership. Curious about working with Tabby? Learn more.