Why More Women Should Think About Their Legacy
by Tabby Biddle
Legacy is a potent word that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.
Not that long ago, I read a story in author and Omega Institute co-founder Elisabeth Lesser’s book, Cassandra Speaks, about how she and renowned Chilean author Isabelle Allende were invited to speak on the topic of “Legacy,” many years ago, at a religion and science conference in France.
Most of the invited speakers were men, “with a few women sprinkled in,” says Elisabeth.
As she tells her story, Elisabeth admits that she wasn’t comfortable with the topic of legacy. She felt it was too “ego-ic,” which is something she’d been trying to get away from. And plus, as the mom to teenage boys and the co-founder of a large institute, she was busy in the here and now. When would she have time to think about legacy?
When it was Isabelle Allende’s turn to speak, she stood at the microphone and proclaimed that legacy was a “penis” word. There were giggles in the audience, including from the Dalai Lama, who was one of the invited speakers.
Isabelle later corrected herself and said that she used the wrong “p” word. She actually meant patriarchy.
It is true that legacy has been framed for much of our lives from a patriarchal perspective, based around money, wealth, and family name. In fact, for most of history, legacy has been the domain of men. War heroes, presidents, Nobel Prize winners, billionaires.
Since women couldn’t have possession of money, wealth and professional status until frighteningly late in our history – especially married women -- they weren’t even part of the legacy conversation. Lest we forget, it wasn’t until the 1970s in the United States that a woman could get a credit card in her own name or be guaranteed that she wouldn’t be fired from a job for being pregnant.
Truth be told, for much of our lives, aside from royalty, sports heroes, and movie stars, people haven’t been talking about legacy in relation to women. It’s not often that the everyday woman is asked: What do you see as your feminine legacy? It’s also not often that she stops asks herself this question.
I would argue that it’s time for this to change.
With all the political, social, economic and environmental crises going on in our world today, legacy is an extremely valuable topic for women to be thinking about.
Our patriarchal culture has dismissed, erased, devalued and silenced millions of women throughout history. This has led to a massive imbalance in our leadership, in our institutions, in our systems, and in our psyches. Society is suffering in the face of this imbalance.
You need only to look around at where we are right now to see this—multiple wars, severe human rights abuses, the rise of autocratic leaders, corporate greed at the cost of human lives, massive economic disparity, job loss, food insecurity, the climate crisis, the mental health crisis, daily shootings, entire populations pushed into poverty, and so much more.
I would argue that it’s time to rewrite history and add to it to include her-story and feminine legacy to restore balance between the masculine and the feminine, within ourselves and our worldly leadership. We, no matter our gender, desperately need this.
The legacy I am talking about is not just about doing heroic acts, amassing wealth, or donating to the causes you care about. While this is important and admirable, there is more to feminine legacy. Much more.
Feminine legacy is about how you live and lead your life. It’s the way you show up. How you treat yourself. How you treat others. The wisdom you share. The values you uphold. The teachings you embody. The way you use your voice. What you create. What you build. What you transmit -- through your projects and your presence.
Creating a feminine legacy isn’t done from an egoic, patriarchal perspective. Instead, it comes from a desire to own all of who you are as a woman, and share your gifts in service to the highest good of our communities, our humanity and our planet. This will contribute to our collective evolution, and the well-being of future generations.
There is a lot of pressure in society right now to be something and do something BIG and LOUD. Social media plays a strong hand in that. But what if your legacy is quieter than that? What if your legacy is the way you love your children, care for your garden, care for your family, nurture your friendships, relationships, and your pets? Is that enough?
In my 40s, I felt on fire with my legacy. I gave birth to a child. I gave my first TEDx talk aimed at activating women’s feminine power and supporting them to use their voice. I published a bestselling book to help women find their voice and build their thought leadership platform. I co-founded a gender equity initiative in Hollywood to grow women’s leadership in media & entertainment. I presented at the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women about how to build sisterhood within industries and across industries to strengthen our power. I wrote and published more than a hundred blogs, articles and essays speaking out about the human rights of women and girls, and sharing my views on gender, power and leadership.
I also taught classes, led women’s circles, and coached hundreds of women, supporting them to find their voice and establish themselves as thought leaders – not tethered to the old ways of patriarchy, but in a new paradigm of feminine leadership.
But when I turned 50, things slowed down. We were six months into the COVID pandemic, so everyone was slowing down. I settled into a quieter life with my husband, son and cat. We became less busy, and our lives became ‘smaller.’ Not better or worse. Just smaller.
Since I wasn’t ‘out there’ in a big way, I questioned whether I was still living my legacy.
What I discovered, however, is that we all go through seasons with our legacy. Sometimes we are quietly incubating. Other times we are behind-the-scenes creating and producing. Other times we are living out loud, putting our work into the world. And other times, we are resting.
Over the last couple years, I have come to understand that a feminine legacy doesn’t only manifest in the concrete things you build, create, or share with the world. It is also how you show up for yourself, how you show up for the people in your life, and how your presence in those spaces reflects the values you stand for.
But so often as women, we don’t give ourselves enough credit for the value of our lives and our ability to make an impact now and for future generations. Since we have had so much cultural messaging shoved down our throats about our “less than” and “less worthy” position in society, it’s no wonder we don’t immediately believe we are worthy of living and leaving a legacy.
Imagine a world where every woman and girl felt safe and worthy in her body, safe and worthy to speak her truth, safe and worthy to share her gifts, safe and worthy to be seen, safe and worthy to be heard, safe and worthy to be in her power, safe and worthy to be in her leadership, and at peace within herself.
Doesn’t that sound like a great world to live in? That’s what your feminine legacy can create.
My colleague, multi-media entrepreneur and author Joy Donnell, says it so well in her bestselling book Beyond Brand: Master Your Power, Joy and Media to Live Your Legacy. “Legacy is a calling back in to answer that fiery mandate if you have the audacity to believe that your life can actually affect others and make things better.”
You have a legacy. The world needs what you have to offer. We need the richness of your feminine wisdom, artistry and creative expression in our consciousness. We need to nourish ourselves with your feminine mystery and magic.
The solution is right in front of us. It is us. It is you.
Inquiries:
· When you think about your feminine legacy, what words or images come to you?
· What is the change you want to create and the impact you want to make?
· How might your life lived fully create a ripple effect for future generations?
Tabby Biddle, M.S. Ed. is dedicated to elevating and championing the voices of women changemakers. She is a two-time United Nations Foundation Press Fellow, TEDx speaker, bestselling author and internationally-known women’s leadership coach. She is also the creator of Women On Stage, the Divine Feminine Writer’s Group, and Live Your Legacy. Curious to about working with Tabby? Visit tabbybiddle.com.